Thursday, October 14, 2010

Wrong number, friend

I am one of those people who would do just about anything to avoid an awkward situation. Being quite awkward myself doesn't really help it.

Today was the first day of the sample sale for 7 For All Mankind that I talked about here (it wasn't very good, btw). It was VIP only, and I had an invitation from the owner of AuthenticForum. Before leaving my house I asked people who were going for their numbers so we could meet up at the sale. One dude sent me his number and I quickly put it in my phone and dashed out of the house.

Because the MTA hates me just as much as I hate it, I was stuck on the Q train for about 30 minutes. As a result I was running late. When I finally got out of the train, I texted the guy informing him I'm on my way, and asking if they were all still there. I haven't heard back for about 10 minutes and when I finally got a text back it said, "I'm at the coffee shop:)" So I figured he had already left, and replied that I haven't been able to find P__ and K___ here, and are they with him now. A moment later I read a lot of "hahahas" on my phone screen, telling me I had the wrong number. I apologized, he said it was ok and it was kind of funny, and we moved on.

Or so I thought.

A couple of hours later I got a text from that number asking me if I'm from the Bronx (718 is not just for the Bronx, buddy).  I said no, Manhattan. He assumed that I live in the city because I go to college there. I informed him that I've been out of college for a while.
"Hahaha. wow. r u likeeeee. 28?"
At this point I realize that this is just a kid and tell him that yes, I'm around that age.
I say, "Old enough to be married."
He then proposes that I guess his age and I tell him that he cannot possibly be over 16.
"ahhahaha im 15 ! ommmmgggggggg. crreeeeeeepy."
Did he think I was a psychic? What normal adult would write like this? Only a kid would, obviously. So I decided to ignore him. He was having too much fun though, and wouldn't leave me alone, asking me I'm a girl a boy. So I thought I'd have fun too and told him that I'm androgynous.
His brain probably exploded. He said he googled it and wasn't sure if I'm both, or I'm a girl who likes to dress like a boy or vice-versa. "like.... im realllly confussedddd."
I go, "I'm female and you're gullible."
I get, "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! but like u gave me no reason not to believe u! wowwww tht wass funnnay!"
I'm not sure at what point we have become best friends for him to take my word as absolute truth.
Anyway, I ignore him again, but he's resilient.
"and the funniest thing was the train question lmao my friends were like telling me wht to say. it was prettty funny and even my english teacher was telling me to say i was at the coffeee shop hahaha to funny."
So I tell him that no wonder his grammar is so poor--his English teacher helps him text instead of teaching. To that he says that she's Russian and doesn't even know English, and asks me what I studied in college. I said English, which is partially true (Creative Writing is a sub-division of the English major). I also wanted to add that I too am Russian, but decided not to.
"omggg thts like so...umm IRONIC! LMAO aahha literary term...did i spell literary right? ahahha"
I gave him an A-.
"woohooo! alright gonna use something tht i recently learned....DYNAMIC CHARACTER oooooooh. tht deff deserves an A++++++:D"
I tell him that it's great and that he should really be doing his homework now instead of texting strangers.
"hmmm well guess what. i reading this like tottalllyyyy gay book called to kill a mockingbird. and dont try to get rid of me...u kno im the best .its alright just to cool for uuuuu."
How do you get rid of someone who hates reading? With reading.
"Here's a fun fact about this book: It was Harper Lee's first and last published book. After winning a Pulitzer prize, she could not finish her second novel; there was too much pressure."
He definitely did not appreciate it, and said he's glad she never finished the second book because this one is boring.
And that was it. Until three hours later when he texted to tell me that he told his mom about this conversation and she laughed.

I don't know if it's my awkwardness that made me bothered by all of this, or maybe I just forgot what it's like to be a teenager. But then again, even at 15, I was never that outgoing. I was actually even more uptight than I am right now. I guess it's normal for hormonal 15-year-old boys to be all giddy like that.

I just hope I don't get a "good morning, sunshine" text tomorrow.

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